St. Augustine, speaking of a martyr: "And as many sufferings as he endured before he died for Christ, so many offerings did he make of himself unto Christ".
My sufferings are silly when compared to torture and martyrdom; and yet, for one so weak in faith and love, they are true sufferings. Sadly, however, I fail even in such small things. When my sons clamor incessantly for my undivided attention; when someone is on "my last nerve"; when my wife gets irritated at me and throws me that look; when things simply do not go the way I want them to - I fail to make an offering of myself unto Christ. Instead, I scream and kick, scratch and claw, bitch and moan, all for the sake of keeping my own "life"; and in so doing, I forfeit the glory that Jesus wants to give me within the trial, the suffering, the ordinary.
May the Lord forgive me, create in me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within me. And He will - for even when I am faithless, He remains faithful. Amen.
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