Being Right or Being A Friend?

One night, several years ago, a friend called me and needed to talk. She was broken-hearted and distressed, so I told her to come on by. As she sat on my couch, she poured out her heart through tears and sobs. She told me all that had been going on inside of her for a long time, the good and the bad. As she shared her heart with me, scriptures would come into my mind that spoke specifically to things and situations that she would mention. Due to the intensity and the insights that came from these "scripture flashes", not to mention their accuracy, I knew this was the Lord giving me what to say. After she finished and had calmed down, I began to tell her the scriptures and insights that God had given me, one by one. She listened with more tears welling up in her eyes, which let me know that God was "ministering" to her through me. So I kept going.

When I finished, she looked me straight in the eyes and said, "I don't want to hear scripture right now; and I didn't come here to hear your thoughts and insights! I don't want that right now!" I was shocked and mad as hell. "Okay, fine," I shot back. "What do you want?" The anger had dimmed but her eyes were still full of hurt and tears. "I want you to just listen to me."

After she had left, some time later, I was still mad. So, I told the Lord about it. I told him all about it - how I felt about her, what I thought about her response,...the works. I even reminded Him of the scriptures He gave me. "You were wrong," He said. "I did give you those scriptures to show you specific things, but I never said, 'Say this...'. She was right; what she needed was for you to listen."

I realized something that day: being right isn't the issue. Ministry isn't the issue. Being a friend is. By that I mean listening - without any expectation of saying anything. "Everyone should be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger" (James 1:19). People don't care what you know until they know that you care. And the best way to let them know that you care is to listen, really deeply listen. After all, isn't this what Jesus does with us? Listens first, then speaks?